Thursday, January 24, 2008

And the Bharat Ratna goes to Mr. Makarand!

So I finally have my very own blog, yay! And to imagine that Mayawati (yes, yes, the CM of UP) made me do it. See, I was already in tut-tut mode when LK Advani pompously demanded that the Bharat Ratna be given to AB Vajpayee. And then Mayawati put in her vociferous claim for Kanshiram (gosh the way she's going, she's soon going to wrest the title of Ms. Banshee from Mamta Banerjee) and something in me snapped. I dashed to my PC, smoke spiralling out of my ears, and keyed in a humble request for my own nominee. Fictitious, of course, but what the hell!
It was published in Hindustan Times (Mumbai edition) today. And pasted below too, for your (hang on, ghastly archaic phrase coming up) kind persual.
I'd originally called this article, 'Give the Bharat Ratna to Mr. Makarand', but it was published as, 'And the Bharat Ratna goes to...Mr. Makarand.' Much better, really. And they did a fab illustration of Mr. Makarand too! So here goes:

Friends, please join me in on-line petition to respected Prime Minister,
Telling to him to give Bharat Ratna to Mr. Makarand on Republic Day function.
Arrey, if every neta is giving him ulcers asking for their own peoples,
What goes of anybody’s father if humble citizens humbly ask too?
We have voice also, no?
As great Indian saying is saying, what less is there in me?

Mr. Makarand Sir is hon’ble president of my co-op housing society,
And very fine man too, standing upright all the time,
Except when he is tripping over potholes and falling into manholes.
Then, hai la, he is cursing like Australian cricket team,
And screaming that BMC-wallahs will surely lose next election
For reason of anti-incompetency, not anti-incumbency.

Mr. Makarand is respecting every religion in Bharat and in world also,
Every night, top DJ is hired to play music on building lawns to celebrate.
Sometimes when one-two residents are complaining that children are failing SSC,
Mr. Makarand is smiling gently like enlightened sadhu in Amar Chitra Katha comics
And saying, ‘Forget exams-shegzams, they are passing as human beings, no?’
I am thinking he is best candidate for Nobel Peace Prize too.

One day, Mr. Makarand is putting up notice for neutering drive on notice-board.
All building peoples are queuing up with Jimmy, Tommy and Moti from locality,
But Mr. Makarand is shouting, ‘No no, dogs can go, only dirty-minded youths stay in line!’
He is sagely saying molestation cases are spreading like gastric disease,
And even small little childrens are knowing that prevention is better than cure.
Now all building ladies are solemnly swearing to make him rakhi brother.

Mr. Makarand is having very great friendships with environment also.
Why, when Aamchi Mumbai is recently doing batti-bandh campaign,
He is going from flat to flat carrying candle with mango scent,
Sternly warning us to switch off all electrical appliances in building-
Not lights-shites only, but life-support systems too!
Where else you will find like this integrity?

So please, I am requesting you with folded hands to vote for Mr. Makarand.
Even if you are migrant, don’t take tension,
He won’t give you one tight – God promise, I swear on you.
During humorous talks, he is saying he has new slogan for Mumbai,
‘Mee Mumbaikar, you Mumbaikar too’!
You won’t forget to give him your blessings, na?

3 comments:

Rash said...

...and yay am the first to comment. Isn't Mr Makarand also petitioning to preserve Hindu culture by making all heroines wear polonecks?

Arun said...

:-)

sunnysideup said...

hey scan and paste the cartoon as well ... even tho the caricature mr makarand does not a lazium hold