Friday, April 11, 2008

"Bombay really shows you the finger!"

Those were the very first words a house-guest said to me late last night when I opened the door with a thine-genial-host smile plastered on my face. There he was looking tired and defeated and very, very soggy. This super corpo out-of-towner had spent all day house-hunting in South Mumbai. And his oft-repeated phrase of the day to the broker was, " You get what* for what**!!?'
*Unadulterated crap
**Astronomical figure
"Apartments in Noo Yawk are far cheaper and way classier," he muttered incredulously, while eagerly scanning the living room for a friendly piece of furniture that resembled a bar.
My humble home showed him the finger then. No bar. No booze. No cough syrup, nail-polish remover or glue either. I'm a born-again good girl, I am.
I unapologetically gave him a 2 litre bottle of chilled water with a cheerful, "There, there!"
"So you may have to live in the burbs if you want the house of your dreams," I shrugged.
"But the traffic to town? I can't do the bloody commute everyday!" was his alarmed rejoinder.
"Oh, the burbs do have their advantages," I airly said. And really they do:
1. You can start and finish The Rise And Fall of The Third Reich on your way to work, and start and finish The Complete Works of William Shakespeare on your way back to home sweet home.
See, Bombayites truly are street-smart!
2. No one in your family will attempt to kill you for your flat, so you save on food-tasters fees.
3. Your neighbours will be so exhausted from their commute they won't ring your doorbell to bother you for a cup of sugar and suchlike.
4. You get unscheduled holidays during the Monsoon, yay!
5. Finally, if you're really, really, really smart (like me), you quit your full-time job and work from home. Hey, what's the internet for?

One of my fav childhood poems- the one that always comes to mind when I'm being tortured in a Mumbai traffic jam:

A beetle got stuck in a jam,

And he cried, 'How unhappy I am'.

His ma said, 'Don't talk, if you really can't walk,

You'd better come home in a tram.'

1 comment:

Abhinav said...

Well, Bombay is Bombay! What did your friend expect?!!!

Came over from Sir Peter Griffin's blog. Liked reading yours. :-)