Monday, January 19, 2009

Pigeons vs crows

Today is the day the new President of the US will be sworn in- and also the birthday of an old friend who got so annoyed by a pigeon who repeatedly appeared on his window sill that he wrung its neck and ate it for lunch! I was admittedly startled when he recounted his act, but now, after very many years, I see where he came from. I long to wring pigeon's necks- not personally, but I would love to put a supari on them. They are the bimbos of the bird world- I just don't get them. They insist on flying indoors and crap on everything with fear when you attempt to shoo them away. Two seconds later, the brainless eejits are back. It was Woody Allen, I think, who called them flying rats. Quite right. James Thurber too has made some pretty unflattering remarks about pigeons.

I had to invest in a wire mesh for all the windows in my old house. Didn't bother in my new house, because there are so many trees around. But does that stop them? Naah. Two eggs have been discovered on a cupboard. The cook offered to fry them for me with a smirk- I thanked her kindly but declined. Ew. My friend Ranjona says these days pigeons prefer to live in houses- they've forgotten how to live in trees! Maybe we should talk to philanthropic builders about creating a special room in all buildings for pigeons- wait a minute, there's no such thing as a philanthropic builder- that's an oxymoron!

Crows, though, are bloody intelligent. They only attempt to pop in to the kitchen when a non-vegetarian meal is being cooked. On regular cauliflower, peas and okra days, they deign to pay a visit! Smart- very smart! I have deep respect for them. They have a clear purpose in life, unlike stupid pigeons!

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